10 Real Reasons Why Virgo Men Pull Away (Also After Intimacy) (2023)

Dating a Virgo man is a lovely experience. These men are so attentive and caring. Whenever you need him, you know you can depend on a Virgo man to be there for you. He’s just so reliable and helpful.

This makes it all so confusing as to when he pulls away after he confesses his feelings for you. You might wonder why he does this when you thought things were going so well with him. It is even worse once you have slept with him.

So why does a Virgo man go distant after intimacy? The Virgo man push and pull is so frustrating – you might be racking your brain as to why he is being so hot and cold at times. Do you wonder if there is something you have done wrong?

There are some obvious reasons why a Virgo man is pushing you away and what you can do about it. Continue reading to find out why this happens and what you can do about it.

10 Real Reasons Why a Virgo Man Pulls Away

1. He Isn’t Totally Sure About You

Virgo men can be dreamers much like Pisces men and Scorpio men. That means that they oftentimes start planning their future far ahead of time. As things start to change he changes his dreams.

He sometimes can do the same with his relationships. He can come on very strong; say he wants a future, say all the things he wants to do in life with you, and makes it seem as though you’re the one.

Suddenly he starts to see something in you that he isn’t sure is going to meld well with him over the years and makes him pull back to think things over again. It’s not that there is something wrong with you.

It’s just that he isn’t sure if it’s something he can live with. Remember that Virgo men can be rather choosy and though they can take a long time to build a relationship; they generally know what they want.

If at any point he feels that something about you isn’t what he wants it might be a reason why Virgo men will pull away or end it. Give him some time; he’ll let you know what the case may be.

2. He Isn’t Sure About Himself

This would mean that the Virgo man isn’t confident enough to believe that the relationship is strong enough to get past his shortcomings. He isn’t just picky about his mate but picky about himself as well.

If he isn’t sure about himself, where his life is going, or what he wants to do, he may veer off the path he started with you. This is why he takes a while to build a relationship.

It’s one of those things he has to be sure of. Again though; the dreamer side of him comes out and makes everything seem perfect and wonderful for the future. Then he realizes he jumped too fast and shuffles backward.

This is indeed one of his flaws and why Virgo men pull away. He can tend to promise too much and not really know if he can deliver. When he thinks about it he becomes insecure and thus is why he becomes icy toward you.

This may pass if he realizes that nothing he thinks about himself will deter you and how you feel about him.

3. Isn’t Ready for Responsibility or Commitment

It’s really that simple. Virgo men love to flirt and they love to dream about the future they could have. It’s fun for them to imagine what their lives may be like with a woman like you.

However, if he realizes that he is getting into something he’s not fully ready to invest in he will likely get cold feet and turn around. That doesn’t mean it will stay that way but until he’s truly ready, he isn’t likely to change his mind.

Virgo men will tell you if they aren’t ready for this type of commitment. If he doesn’t he’ll certainly show you in his actions which will include not returning your calls or texts.

He never means to lead anyone on but sometimes he gets away with himself with his own excitement until reality sets in and he figures out that what he dreamed isn’t reality. It freaks him out and he gets out.

4. General Fears

Virgo men tend to carry quite a bit of baggage and when they don’t know how to deal, it is why Virgo men pull away. They feel things so deeply that it’s hard for them to really move on. If he loved someone really hard before you and she ended it he’ll probably have trust issues.

There is a variety of issues he may have encountered in his last long-term relationship that he’ll now carry over and have problems understanding. He may think that you will do the same to him and that scares him.

Even though he on some level realizes that you are not his ex he will still at least think it for a while until you’ve proven otherwise. You’ll have your work cut out for you if you do work at it with him.

However, if you stick it out and prove how much you’re there for him and that you’ll be good to him; he’ll eventually let his guard down and let you in. Then you’re in for a delightful treat.

You will be his gold, his prize, his end goal. There is nothing wrong with that at all if you can put up with his accusatory tones and nitpicking from time to time.

5. He’s Got a Lot on His Mind

This is the simplest answer to him suddenly not texting or calling as much. Virgo men like to keep themselves busy and naturally when he is; he won’t be able to communicate as much.

Try not to let it get to you. If you know he’s going to be working overtime or that he’s got a full day planned with friends; don’t give him a hard time. Know that he’ll get back to you when he can.

It doesn’t mean that he isn’t into you or has had second thoughts. It must mean that he literally does not have time to tune in and give you all the attention you may want at that moment.

When you do have his attention again he’ll give of himself fully to you and you’ll be rewarded for letting him have a good time or for taking care of business without you fussing.

6. He Feels Undervalued Or Underappreciated

You might want to take a closer look at your behaviour when it comes to your Virgo man. Are you sure you aren’t the one who has actually changed now that you know how he feels about you?

Have you stopped putting in the effort to make him feel special or wanted? Security is a big deal for a Virgo man and if he feels like you underappreciate him now, then there is no wonder why he has pulled away.

He might think that YOU are the one who doesn’t like him anymore and this makes him feel vulnerable and scared to really show his feelings to you. Make sure that you are still putting in the effort and make it known that you mirror what he feels to him.

Don’t be lazy now that you know you can have him. Virgo men have very high standards and if yours are lacking, it is no wonder why he might be pulling away. Be the person he got to know and fell in love with at first.

Read also: How Much Time and Space a Virgo Man Actually Needs?

7. He Doesn’t Feel Good Enough For You

One of the flaws every Virgo man seems to suffer with is a general feeling of insecurity and not being good enough. He has very high standards for himself and if he feels like he can’t live up to these standards, he may just back away and make space for someone who is more deserving of you.

It might be very difficult for you to break through this wall because you need to make him believe that the feelings you have for him are actually real and that you aren’t fooling him. He is honestly just scared of disappointing you.

Let him know how special he is in your life and that you care about him, just as he is. You need to make him believe that there is nothing about him you want to change. Encourage and praise him if you think he is worth it!

8. He Is Struggling To Process Your Emotions

A Virgo man is highly analytical and logical by nature. Sure, he is very empathetic, but he also struggles to process emotions, especially when these emotions don’t belong to him.

If you have been opening up to him and sharing your feelings with him a lot, he might be feeling some pressure to respond in the appropriate manner. This is why he is taking some time to really understand what you are going through.

He actually just wants to be really helpful and supportive, but the speed in which he processes how you feel may take some time. He needs to think through things properly and come to a logical conclusion he understands.

It is important that you give him space to do this. Lean back and don’t interfere or put any pressure on him to give you an answer because you will just end up pushing him away, and this is the last thing you want to do.

9. He Is Introverted

As a rule, Virgo men tend to be quite introverted by nature. They aren’t the big party animals like Sagittarius or Leo who need a lot of people to connect with to gain energy.

A Virgo man needs a lot of time on his own to feel like himself. This is nothing personal, and this is just the way he processes everything going on in his life. Especially if he has been vulnerable and shared his feelings with you.

Again, you need to be able to give him this space to breathe and to feel like himself again. Do not pressure him or force him to see you when he isn’t in the mood to, you are just going to end up pushing him away.

You cannot take his actions personally and let them get to you. This will only end up hurting your relationship and make him want to run away. Be gentle with him, and remember to put yourself in his shoes if you want this to work.

10. He Is Afraid Of Relying On You

A Virgo man is very independent. He does everything for himself and he always has because he is so efficient and practical. It can be quite overwhelming to him when he notices that he is relying on you to make him feel a certain way.

He might be afraid of losing you, and this is why he pulls back his energy so that he doesn’t feel so vulnerable anymore. This is all about control for him. He needs to feel in control or else he might go crazy.

You need to let your Virgo man know that you aren’t going anywhere and that he can be safe with you because you care about him so much. Keep reassuring him until he believes you.

You might want to have a heart-to-heart with him, especially if you notice that he continues to jeopardize your relationship due to his insecurities. Ask him to share his fears with you and tell him that you are willing to work on them with him. This should make him feel safer to be vulnerable with you.

4 Most Common Situations In Which a Virgo Man Pulls Away

You might be wondering what are some of the more common situations that lead a Virgo man to pull away and what you can do about it to prevent this from happening with your Virgo man. Here are some situations to look out for:

1. He Disappears After Intimacy

One of the most common situations you might find yourself in is that after you have had sex with a Virgo man he disappears. It is radio silence from his end… This is extremely hurtful and can make you question what you did wrong.

Listen to me carefully, you did nothing wrong! He is the one being an idiot, but the reasons he might be doing this aren’t on you, it is on him and his lack of maturity. However, be sure that you haven’t put too much pressure on him after sex, he might not be in the mood to rush into things with you yet.

The further you push him, the further he is going to run away and think that you aren’t actually ready for an adult relationship. It is best for you to just lean back and mirror his actions.

2. He Disappears And Reappears

This is so incredibly hurtful and frustrating when your Virgo man is acting hot and cold. You might hear from him for a while, and then he just goes silent again. This is usually because he might not know how he is feeling about you and this is why he keeps tabs on you.

He is making sure that no one else has striked your fancy and it is a way of making sure that you are still under his spell. This is actually really manipulative and a way of controlling you.

Don’t let this get to you. My suggestion is to cast your net wide and try to date as many guys as you can so that you can see that you are actually a lot more desirable and sexy than what this one guy is reflecting back to you.

3. He Criticizes You

Virgo men are very bad at ending relationships because they hate to be seen as the bad guy when they have such a big reputation to uphold. However, if a Virgo man actually wants to break up with you, he might start pulling away and become hypercritical of everything you do.

This action can be downright hurtful. It is completely normal to feel attacked and defensive when he does this because he is really acting mean. This is his way of getting you to end things with him.

This doesn’t happen with all Virgo men, but the immature ones seem to love pulling this move. When he starts treating you badly, put him in his place immediately and let him know that you won’t stand for this at all!

Don’t put him on a pedestal. Know what your worth is and don’t let him affect your self-esteem because you are so much better than that.

4. He Stops Replying To Your Text Messages

A Virgo man is very mercurial, funnily enough, his ruling planet is actually Mercury. This means that he loves to banter and have good conversations with his lady. He’s the type of guy to check in on you throughout the day and to send cute texts to let you know he is thinking of you.

However, if you start to notice a change in the way that he communicates with you, then there is a chance that he might be pulling away. Especially if this becomes more regular.

My advice is don’t stress too much and don’t blow up his phone. You want to lean back and remove your energy so that he can see what it would be like if you weren’t in his life.

This gives you a chance to focus on yourself and your own hobbies, which will give you a lot more to talk about once he does make contact with you again. You are going to have to ride this one out. Be strong!

Will a Virgo Man Change his Mind After pulling away? What are your chances?

I would not worry too much about a Virgo man when he pulls away. This is basically second nature for him and something he often needs to do to get back to himself.

If you want to be the best partner for him then this is something you need to accept about him. Do not put any added pressure on him because this will only push him further away.

Instead, show him how understanding you are and that you get why he needs to climb into his cave at times. He’ll really appreciate this about you and this will make him see that you are indeed a very high-value woman and that he is so lucky to have you.

When you notice a Virgo man pulling away, then the best thing you can do is to focus on yourself until he comes back around to you. And he will because he isn’t someone who takes commitment lightly.

When he makes a promise he is the type of guy to stick to it. So you really don’t have to worry about that in the slightest. Just hold space for him, be positive, and focus on your own life. That is all you can really do.

So try your best not to freak out completely and if you just keep persisting without putting any pressure on him, he will be back in your arms in no time. As your relationship gets stronger and becomes more serious you can ask him to be more open and communicative when he needs time on his own.

He is the type of guy to respect this and understand where you are coming from so do not be afraid to ask him what you need!

When you know all this information it can be pretty easy to understand why a Virgo man would pull away after saying that he likes you. They are a lot more predictable than they might think.

Again, Virgo men are not one to be forced to do anything. So if you find that things are amiss with your Virgo man, you’ll need to give him some of your best efforts of patience and try not to pressure him. Don’t try to force this situation to get better because that is the last thing he needs from you. Let him go!

Unless he tells you that he is absolutely done with you; there is always still a chance. It may take a while but it’s there. If he did say he’s done; he is likely telling you exactly how it is.

Watch for the signs and try your best to always provide peace and happiness with your Virgo man. Maybe this whole thing can be avoided. When he loves, he loves very deeply and takes his commitment seriously.

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